nedsjotw.com

Mike: I’m still bitter over not getting into OA. The Golightly Brothers voted for themselves and each other and I missed election by one vote. And I was the Senior Patrol Leader, too…

Ned: The world is full of bitter people like you.

Mike: I would have looked great in a loincloth.

Ned: Julio Lugo does the left shoulder tug then death stare. I like that.

Mike: And then grounds out.

Ned: The information about Optimus Prime's cancer will be in tomorrow's newsletter.

Mike: I hope the Rockies’ fans don’t feel short-shrifted. We barely talk about them.

Ned: Which sick pitcher should get the most sympathy?

Mike: I think Herb Score, whose career ended with a vicious line drive. Or maybe the guy who had to pitch to Eddie Gaedell, the midget.

Ned: Eddie Gaedell, if I am not mistaken, was hired Bill Veeck. There was a sick pitchman if there ever was one.

Mike: We should hire him to do an IABC conference. Do you have his phone number?

Ned: He could sell copies of his book about running a race track. It was called “Thirty Tons a Day.”

Ned: Manny is so good in the outfield. You never know what the hell he's going to do, and then does exactly that.

Mike: Is he left-handed? Because that was a left-handed compliment if I ever heard one…

Ned: I think Terry Francona should pinch hit Dice K for Lugo.

Mike: There you go, pandering to our Japanese readers again…

Ned: Lester is throwing pretty hard. He's found out how to throw strikes.